By Brittney Marie facebook.com/therealbrittneymarie
Losing a baby in pregnancy through miscarriage is still a taboo subject around the world. It is often linked to stigma and shame, yet it is the most common reason for pregnancy loss. Many women feel they must remain silent because miscarriage is considered common or unavoidable when you are trying to conceive. But having a miscarriage does take a toll on women and their families. Still, numerous women have said that despite their culture, upbringing, or education, some of their friends and family still are unwilling to have a conversation about their loss. This seems to correlate with the silence that shrouds speaking about miscarriage grief in general.
While it may be taboo, some women and their families do grieve openly about their miscarriage. Some talk about it to share their sadness, to break the stigma around losing a baby to a miscarriage, for others and themselves do not feel alone, or all of these. If a friend wants to speak to you about their pregnancy loss and you’re unsure what to say, you could try saying something like, “I am so very sorry. I can imagine this is very sad for you. Is there anything I can do to help?” These are some ways we all can break the stigma and validate what women go through when they have a miscarriage.
If you’re unsure what having a miscarriage may feel like, the poem “A Miscarriage Lullaby” is below. It’ll put you in the shoes of a woman who was reflecting on her pregnancy loss a year later. And if you have had a miscarriage, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that you are not alone.
Thinking of you intensely today
And how abruptly you cruelly went away
A dream turned into a tainted nightmare
I begged and pleaded, but you weren't spared
That moment forever haunting my heart
The emergency room where I fell apart
I didn't know how I would be able to survive
Because at that moment, a part of me took a dive
Now, a year later, I can't help but think:
What would you have been, blue or pink?
Are your eyes brown, blue, or green?
Would you have been the cutest little bean?
I will not know until the day we are reunited
Until then, part of my soul will feel divided
I wish your journey got to begin
I'll love you forever until we meet again